Making My Way Back

fruitI have been trying to figure out how to restart this blog and to explain my absence from it. Then I realized I don’t really have to explain, but I want to. Some of you came here to regular (or semi-regular) posts, then I was gone all of a sudden. Some of you may have stumbled upon a dormant blog.

My last post was in January. It was an attempt to restart then, too.

For a long time, I tried to blog because it was expected. it’s what a writer needs to do to build a platform, to gain an audience. It felt forced to me, so it fell flat. Unfortunately, it probably sounded forced to you, too.

I apologize for all of that.

Now I am returning to the blog. While I hope you are here to read it, comment on it, and ask questions of me about whatever I post, I am doing it for me.

You see, for the past year, I have been dealing with some health issues that had me keeping my foot propped up for 8 of the last 10 months. In that time, I haven’t done much writing. I’ve done a lot of reading. I’ve done a lot of crocheting. I even learned to knit, which is something I have wanted to do for years.

I started a separate blog for the health stuff. It stalled too, although for different reasons. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be that personal. I wasn’t sure that I wanted people to know that I am diabetic and I struggle with that sometimes.

I realize, though, that is part of me. And the tagline for this blog is “Wandering on the creative journey.” That is part of the wandering. That is part of finding my way. That is part of finding me and making my way back to who I am, who I was, and — more importantly — to who I want to be.

I am trying to take a more healthful approach to life. I’m walking more. I’ve joined Weight Watchers. My blood sugar is consistently under better control. It’s still not perfect, but I’m working on it with my doctor. I got a FitBit for my birthday to help me stay motivated.

I will write about creativity and things I am doing. I will write about how things are going in my personal life and wtih my health. Since I am doing this for me, it will not be with any real regularity. There will be some weeks with daily posts. There will be some weeks with no posts. Most weeks will be somewhere in-between. And that’s OK.

I give myself permission to take things slowly and do what needs to be done.

The picture with this post? That was my breakfast this morning. A fruit salad of a green apple, some strawberries, and a couple Clementines. I also had a piece of toast. I should have included something with protein, maybe some peanut butter on the toast. I’ll do that next time. I enjoyed it, though. And isn’t that important too?

I think so.

Until next time.

3 thoughts on “Making My Way Back”

  1. Health is part of everyone’s life journey, dear Jen. And since a “creative” journey is part of life, of course it belongs here… and I really believe, the more transparent a writer is, the more his or her readers can see themselves through her or him.

    And — why apologize? Starting and stopping is also part of everyone’s life and creative journey!

    Good on you for doing it because you want to, not because you “should.” Desiring, is the only should… and it then changes from “should” or “must” or “need to” to “want’. More powerful motivation; more powerful outcome.

    Or so your dragon believes!

    Good, good luck on your health work.

  2. It is both an apology to those who came here semi-regularly and an apology to myself. For too long, I spent my life doing what I thought others would expect of me. To an extent, I still do that, even though I know it’s not necessarily in my best interests to do so. It was — and is — a way of keeping up appearances.

    Which is also why I tried to hide the health aspects from … everyone. Sometimes I even tried to hide it from myself. And that is what led to the problem requiring keeping the foot up. If I claim to be a creative person yet hide parts of myself from others and myself, that’s not healthy. It might not have an immediate physical impact, but I have discovered it does have an emotional/mental one, and that often leads to the physical.

    Part of making my way back is acknowledging that and sometimes even saying it outright. While doing that, physically, is something I must do, doing so emotionally — and somewhat publicly, given that while I do have a readership albeit not a large one — is something I have found I want to do. And that, honestly, surprised me. So here I am.

  3. Good to have you back. I too have my ups and downs with my blog, but I decided that it is really there for me to share with the world when and if I’m ready to share. So I applaud your decisions.

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